Operation: Hot Mom
I could just have easily titled this post “Operation: Mid-Life Crisis,” but hot mom sounded way sexier. Five seconds spent reading this blog will tell you I’ve been kind of in the throes of a wee little life crisis this year. Health worries, kid growing up, and the wear and tear of being a single Mom collided hard with plain old getting old and I suddenly woke up and found myself here: more than just a few grey hairs, 15-20 lbs overweight, and never really ever doing anything just for myself (this last one? in other words, pretty much like all the moms in America).
Some people tackle a mid-life crisis with a convertible, a motorcycle or a mistress – I responded first with a lot of crying and ranting and raving, and then finally a bad ass attitude and a personal trainer. I know, I know – personal trainer? I realize this puts me right in the category of those super lucky, super annoying women who have the time and money to hire and work with a personal trainer. Eww. Except not really. Because in my case it wasn’t a matter of having all this extra money laying around and not knowing what to do with it. At all. It was a matter of either needing to put a whole boatload of money into counseling to calm my frenzied stress brain and then some more boatloads of money to buy an entirely new wardrobe that actually fit me or putting that money, instead, into a lovely Jillian Michaels-like trainer named Sarah. (As I type this I realize that had I really been thinking of how best to tackle this mid-life crisis thing I would’ve hired a PT named Hans. Or Sven. But alas, Sarah won out and I couldn’t be happier.) So in the midst of all my drama, it hit me hard quite recently that I still have a long road of so-busy-I-can-hardly-find-time-to-eat and (though news about Mason was a HUGE, HUGE relief) stress that is going to take a whole lot of time and hard work to make a real dent in. I had a crystal clear moment where I realized that if I didn’t DO something I was going to be even more out of shape, with even less time for myself and feeling like even more a lost cause. And I had an epiphany of sorts where I realized I didn’t have to do it all by myself and I actually, possibly deserved a little help. Gasp. The audacity, right?
Well let me tell you, after just a few sessions, I am beginning to think I might be onto something with this whole let-people-help-me thing! Sarah is kicking my butt. I look and feel like an absolute moron in our sessions – sweating like a pig, desperately slurping from a Perry the Platypus water bottle and nearing tears when she asks me to do just one more set of jumping lunges (puke) or pick up those surprisingly heavy fire hoses and whip them around just one (hundred) more time(s). Suddenly the lump that used to sit in my throat and rise up when I felt like I just could not handle one last demand or challenge from work or life, now sits in my throat as I push myself physically to see what I’m really made of. And just as suddenly and just as mysteriously, that lump disappears into thin air after my session. I am already feeling calmer, more in control, more hopeful. And that makes every single last cent I’ve spent on this venture totally worth it. I’m looking forward to the weeks and months ahead when I finally feel STRONG and fit and able to keep up with my kid and make the most of my life. And feel proud of who I am and what I’ve accomplished. And most importantly when the stress and anxiety that’s built up inside me over the last year will no longer spill out nearly so often onto the people I love the most.
I have always loved community and needed community to get me through and I plan to use those bonds to get me through this little blip unscathed. And I plan to offer a hand to anyone else going through the same thing and looking for a healthy, positive way to pull themselves out. So, what have you all found that works to get rid of that desperate lump in your throat? Who wants to come along for the ride and join me? I may not be able to hire you a personal trainer, but I sure would be willing to share Sarah’s tips and tricks as she fires them at me. And I sure would be willing to share with you the different work-outs she puts me through and the eating plan she creates. Or maybe you’re like my sister and I and have always wanted to run a race – a race race not a girls-in-bikinis-and-knee-socks-splashing-through-mud kinda race (not that those aren’t fun, they’re just not on our agenda quite yet!), If so, let’s pick a month and a race-readiness game plan together and then compare notes and cheer one another on! If you’re game, post here or pm me and let’s take this on together! Everybody deserves a little help once in awhile, no matter who they are. And everyone deserves someone beside them cheering “You CAN do this!”